I have determined what my problem is when it comes to higher education. Quite simply, I have taken it out of context; in fact, I now realize that college should come after I have completed all of my other duties and not before then. In other words, I should work with the mindset that college could be in my future, which is to say that I should work toward that goal. Nevertheless, there is a list of other goals that I must gain before then.
Therefore, for any who are thoroughly and genuinely interested, I here populate a list of my current priorities to achieve.
- Learn to drive and get my driver's license.
- Find a regular occupation to add to my weekly job at Poteet and my other odd jobs that I perform.
- Continue to study subjects at home from their source references.
- Save my accrued capital
Now I understand that this is a rather brief listing of goals, but these are so important to my current station in life that they seem to me to encompass all that is obstructing my path to improving myself in life. I should add to this list the reminder to me not to settle or to resign to things as they are because I do not seem to advance with my labor and study. Often people tell me that if I did nothing else besides what I do now that my life should not be in vain. I do not maintain that my life is spent in vain, but I am not pleased with where I foresee my life going if I retain my current routine, and people tell me that I am academically sound and in some cases brilliant only when they hear that I read the writings of Isaac Newton, Plato, Flavius Josephus, Blaise Pascal, Christian Huygens, Euclid, and many others besides, but this only makes me a walking collection of already learnt and proven facts and truths, which says nothing of me as an individual. Of course, I much prefer these persons to those who discredit me because I possess no college education or because I may never procure one, but both are in error in their visions of me, for, on the one hand, to hear some people speak of me, one might receive the impression that I am truly the best of men, which I know that I cannot be, and, on the other hand, to hear the opposite party tell it, I cannot aspire to anything until I receive a college education, of which I am reluctant to believe out of either fear for myself or else knowledge to the contrary.
In any case, I try to look to God for guidance and comfort in this time that taxes my patience. I must learn to improve that virtue within me if I am to become anything of worth in life.
Thank you all for reading.